As I become more deeply attuned to the alchemy of Slimming World, I’m building quite a repertoire of tricks; Pizzas made with a bashed-to-stretch-it-thin chicken breast in place of dough, Ferrero Rocher recreated with a crushed up Ryvita and a dollop of nutella.
And my absolute favourite, for all the wrong reasons. The Pastryless Quiche.
Now, I like quiche as much as the next girl. We’ve come a long way in the past ten years, and the quiche world has seriously upped its game so that it’s rare now that I come across a soggy one.
And then Slimming World comes along and moves the goalposts. Takes them off the field altogether, actually.
The fact is that I like quiche because I like pastry. I love pastry. In my darkest afternoons of extreme mathematics and wrestling with quarterly returns, it’s pastry that I turn to for comfort.
But in a moment of lapsed concentration, I found myself agreeing to give it a go and report back.
So. Eggs, obviously, cottage cheese for flavour and lots of super free veg for virtue. All whisked together with a healthy extra bit of real cheese sprinkled on top. Then in the oven for half an hour or so and Voila! The Pastryless Quiche in all of its glory.
And we play this peculiar game. Like four year olds at a backyard tea party pretending that the water in the toy cups is tea.
We pretend that this weird thing we’re eating really does taste every bit as good as a Pizza Hut pizza, or a luxury chocolate worthy of the Ambassador’s Reception. Or, in this case, a crisp-bottomed, perfect snack-fix, full-of-tastiness quiche. When in fact we’re tucking into a stone cold omelette with some slightly curdled cheese trickling away from it.
And we know – surely we all know – that we’re fooling no-one. Not even ourselves.
But we share the joke, and laugh along with ourselves and each other for creating these funny little work-arounds that wouldn’t ever exist anywhere other than Slimming World.
Sometimes, the daftest bits are those that are the most charming.
Scan Bran Curly Wurly cake, anyone?